Jan 30, 2013 / 1 note

How Close is Too Close When it Comes to Your Friends and Significant Others?


So let us pretend you have a couple, any couple, guy/guy, girl/guy, girl/girl (whatever) and the couple has just started dating/talking or is even gone so far as to become Facebook official (so you know it’s real, ha). You’re in the beginning stages of young love lust, just getting to know each other, the relationship is new and then you notice that your significant other has become quite chummy with all or some of your friends. My question is, exactly how friendly is too friendly when it comes to boyfriends (and girlfriends) and friends?

*I do love when I do posts like these because it makes me feel very Carrie Bradshaw-ish…but I digress*

I mean of course you want your friends to get along with someone you’re dating but when I think back on all my good friends I’ve had who had long term relationships or short term for that matter, I wouldn’t say that I was actually friends with any of their boyfriends. There were two of my real good girl friends who ended up dating 2 guys I knew (don’t even get me started on dating within a group) but in the end, even when they broke up I ended up drifting away from the guys and becoming closer to the girls. So I often find it odd when I see a guy or girl who has become relatively close with his/her girlfriend/boyfriend’s friends.

I mean statistics aside (because what’s gonna happen after the inevitable breakup??) don’t you just think it’s kind of an awkward situation? I had someone on Twitter ask me what I mean by “extra friendly” when I posted this question on Twitter and here’s what I mean: your significant other calling, texting, hanging out with when you aren’t there, tweeting, Facebooking, Instagraming etc… your friends about things that have nothing to do with you? I mean should your boyfriend/girlfriend become best friends with your friends before you’re even reached the 3 month mark in your relationship? Isn’t that odd?! I can’t be the only one who thinks this way. I’m sure there are those who subscribe to the notion that a person shouldn’t even meet your friends until after that point.

Still, I suppose it’s nice for your significant other to make an effort with your friends and I suppose maybe I’m reading too much into it but still, I wonder… Perhaps it’s all about balance and making sure you don’t cross any lines or do anything that makes your significant other feel uncomfortable. I mean I don’t even have phone numbers for my boyfriend’s friends and he seems to be best friends with a lot of mine but  whatever, I guess I’ll just accept it and move on…or write blog posts about it.


  1. casuallykelsey said: It would irk me.
  2. britbritland posted this