Jan 2, 2013 / 6 notes

Thanks A Lot Disney

 During my vacation I spent some time watching Disney movies and reliving my childhood and in the middle of this marathon I noticed a few things, mainly, Disney movies are kind of ridiculous and are the #1 reason girls of my generation are so ratchet AND have such ridiculous expectations of men. You see these Disney movies were kind of totally setting us up to fail. 

                                Top Disney Lies

The Little Mermaid - Who Needs Family When You’ve Got a Man OK, there is an actual quote (see below) where Ursula straight up tells Ariel she doesn’t need family because she’s got a man. Yes people, this is what we’re telling children. Now I’ve had people argue that Ariel wanted more and was just being true to herself but honestly, I think that’s giving Ariel too much credit. You have to think of this from a less analytical and more childish point of view. Ariel found a human prince and then ditched her family to be with him. Yeah, it is that simple. “See on land it’s much preferred for women not to say a word…it’s she who holds her tongue who gets a man”- Ursula “But I’ll never see my family again”- Ariel “Yes but you’ll have your man!”- Ursula

Cinderella - No matter what the circumstances if you hold out long enough a really hot guy will fall in love with you…he will also be royalty! Yes girls, our prince is out there. He is waiting for us, he is tall, he is handsome, he is rich, he is royalty, and he will find us no matter what the situation and come rescue us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Um, what? First off all, the likelihood of finding a hot guy who is also rich AND tall is pretty much slim to none so if you find that guy, he may actually double as a Disney prince so hold on to him. However, the rest of us living in the real world are not going to be so lucky. Prince Charming doesn’t exist, he never existed, and he’s never going to exist and setting little girls up to think that some guy along the lines of these Disney princes is out there, is not nice; SO many of the unrealistic expectations that girls have about guys, can be traced back to Disney movies.

Yes, this is true. Yes, I have conducted scientific research and by that I mean…I asked my friends on Twitter…and they agreed.  There’s a great Sex and the City quote where Carrie ponders:  What if Prince Charming had never shown up? Would Snow White have slept in that glass coffin forever? or, would she have eventually woke up, spit out the apple, gotten a job, a health care package & a baby from her local neighborhood sperm bank?  I couldn’t help but wonder .. inside every confident, driven, single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be saved?” And when I first heard her say it I was kind of like hmmmm and the older I get the more I’m like YES! We’ve all got that inner princess who is waiting on someone to save them and you have to wonder why??? Well I’ll tell you why, it is these DAMN Disney princesses!

We’ve been conditioned from an early age to buy into this crap and the thing is, once we grow up we all realize it’s crap but deep down, we all still want it. Ariel, Pocahontas, Cinderella, Jasmine, Belle, they all sneakily tricked us with their pretty dresses and cute little songs into wanting and believing in Prince Charming. The only problem is Prince Charming doesn’t exist and if women behaved the way those princesses did most would find us utterly insane.  And I have to wonder if someone over at Disney realized something wasn’t right with the messages they were sending because then came the Mulan and whatever that girl in Brave’s name was, to show a different side of a Disney princess.

So yeah, while Barbie gets a lot of blame for the unrealistic expectations she gave young girls the reality is, Barbie was probably the most real thing in my childhood. Want a man? Well you probably need to be hot and skinny and having big boobs doesn’t hurt and in the end your man will most likely screw you over…and in Ken’s case, end up gay? I hate to break it to you but with the Disney princesses, Barbie, and coming into adulthood by watching Sex and the City, girls of the late 80s/early 90s we were doomed from the start when it comes to relationships. Damn.  

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