People talk a lot of shit to me, A LOT, and half the time I’m not sure they even realize it but still, sometimes it gets old. You see, apparently (this was news to me) I have a high number of “unusually inflammatory STRONG opinions” and if I’m going to express them, I should just deal with all the heat I get. This is what I was told on Sunday and after a table full of people agreed, I kind of got pissed off. I suppose a different kind of person would have thought, “hmmmm maybe this is true” but I’m not that kind of person so I went from annoyance to pissed off.
You see, I can’t really rock with that argument because I don’t really see why my opinions are any more inflammatory than anyone else’s and as for them being strong, well duh. If a person is going to take the time to express their opinion on something shouldn’t it be strong? Why on earth would I share my feelings with you, if those feelings are weak or shrouded in apathy? I don’t understand that way of thinking. Furthermore, everyone has strong opinions and it seems that so many people get a pass and then I say something random and all hell breaks loose. Why is this?
I spend a lot of time on social media and I see people expressing opinions on a variety of topics; race, religion, gay marriage, Freebirds vs. Chipotle, Kobe vs. Jordan, etc… and this seems perfectly fine with everyone. They aren’t hounded, attacked, or whatever because people either agree or move on. Meanwhile, I’ll simply state something as simple as “I really dislike bowling” and it turns into me being a “hater” or people assume that I’m attacking anyone who likes bowling and honestly, I’m sick of it. I get that sharing an opinion means people will react to it but why do people react differently and more aggressively to mine? That’s what I’m saying people. I don’t care that you want to debate but not every, single, little thing a person says is up for debate or discussion, sometimes people just want to share what they’re feeling and be done with it. People think it’s amusing to pick at people over and over and over again and then when that person gets upset, they like to play the victim or play the “I’m just joking” card or act genuinely confused that the person responded with such anger.
If I make a statement and it is not directed at you and you decide to take offence with it, that is YOUR problem; it is honestly that simple. I’m allowed to state my opinions and you’re allowed to disagree but you aren’t allowed to come at me any kind of way and talk to me crazy or attack me under the guise of “debate”. That is just not how that works. If someone says something crazy on Twitter I ignore it and if it’s extra crazy I sometimes blog about it but if it’s just a random opinion that has nothing to do with me, I leave it alone. I am not entirely sure why my opinions affect people more than anyone else’s but I’m over it. I’m not entirely sure why people think they can sit around and analyze me like some kind of psych patient but I’m over it. I’m not sure why people think that I have no feelings and they can talk to me any kind of way fine BUT I’M OVER IT.
And I know a lot of people will immediately say “if you dish it out, you should be able to take it” or like I was told yesterday “if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen” but that’s not what is happening here. If I dish out something completely rude and bitchy and wrapped up perfectly in malice (and I occasionally do) then yes, I’ll take it. But that’s not usually the case, half the things people come at me for are things that I didn’t even mean to be offensive. I just state my opinion and then everyone goes crazy and to use the metaphor I used above, brings the “heat” to my kitchen. Then I’m left wondering what the hell just happened and why you’re all so angry? And at a certain point, I get incredibly pissed off and defensive. And yes I’ll admit I get defensive because people usually get defensive when they’re being attacked, THIS IS A NORMAL RESPONSE.
The thing is; I find myself spending a lot of time defending aspects of my personality to people I consider friends and that makes me incredibly sad. You don’t have to agree with what I say, you don’t have to understand it, but if you call yourself a friend of mine, you kind of have to accept it. I don’t go out of my way to say things to hurt people and I feel that people go out of their way to do that to me. I have opinions; I state them because they’re what pops into my head and because that’s me. I’ve never been a wishy-washy kind of person. I either love something or I hate it. If I hate it and you love it, it’s not an attack on you, it’s simply me having a moment where I decided to take 140 characters and share that thought, it is not this huge deal that so many people try to make it out to be.
So I suppose what I’m trying to say with this incredibly long (and incredibly therapeutic post) is that it’s really not fun to have a bunch of people sit around and basically tell you that you suck because you’re opinions are too strong. It’s really not fun to have someone come at you in an aggressive and combative way EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. you make a statement about something (and yes, it happens every time). It’s really not fun to have someone you care about sit there and agree with negative things people say about you. It’s really not fun to be analyzed anytime you make a statement. It’s really not fun to be judged. It’s really not fun having someone negatively pick apart the fundamental aspects of your personality.
It may not seem like it but I have feelings too so if you could be so kind, if you in fact call yourself a friend of mine, to from time to time respect them, I would greatly appreciate it.